Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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