That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
In America we eat man semen.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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