ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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