he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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