I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
