I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I currently don't understand fingers.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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