I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You took a bar mat shot.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
