im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
