party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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