my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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