We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
