Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
