Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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