well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
