Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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