Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i barfeds in our rink
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
