I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
What a dumb baby whore.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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