didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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