billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
