Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
