Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
