She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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