what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
