you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
