we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
