the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
