You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
