Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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