hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize