I must be too annoying 4 u.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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