Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
