Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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