I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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