I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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