Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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