I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
