meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
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