Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Jimmy John's.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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