no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
