i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
