me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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