I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
