Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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