nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My ass is underappreciated
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize