Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
