This dress was meant to end up on your floor
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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