Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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