I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
