Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
