Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
