no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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