is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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