dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i now understand why vodka
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
