he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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