In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
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