i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
