Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
