Having a random hookup so left but love u
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
