i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
